Masturbation - Female
Guys boast about the number of times they "jerked off" last night; females are hesitant to acknowledge that they have ever done it. After all, nice girls don't touch themselves "down there" and nice girls don't get horny. Yeah…right……
There are some females who learned at a very early age the joys of "playing with yourself". I have seen a little 4-year-old girl, watching "Barney", straddling the arm of the sofa, rocking back and forth and obviously getting off on the show. "Tweens" fantasize about loving a big rock star.
Like guys, these girls learn what fantasies arouse them, what moves stimulate them, how to reach an orgasm. Most females have their first orgasm with solitary masturbation. Takes practice, concentration, comfort with your own body, time and the ability to give yourself permission to learn about your own sexual responses. When these females are in a sexual relationship, they can share that information with their partner who can incorporate those specific moves into the love-making.
Females who are in a loving sexual relationship and are unable to reach an orgasm are not "FRIGID". Actually, there is no such thing as a frigid woman, but there are women who have not yet had an orgasm. These ladies are called "pre-orgasmic."
They can learn. There are wonderful therapists who are skilled at helping you explore your attitudes and values around your own body, explain anatomy and physiology of sex, give you homework to do at your own pace, then help you learn to communicate your sexual awareness to your partner. It works.
How Females Masturbate
Guys cannot imagine how women masturbate because they do not have a penis. What they forget is that females have a clitoris with twice as many nerve endings as a penis. Most females reach orgasm by clitoral stimulation, manual or oral, or by using a dildo or vibrator.
Some females are quite comfortable with their genitals and can stimulate themselves by touching their genitals. Others will simply squeeze their legs together and wiggle. Some will tuck a pillow between their legs, flip into a sexual fantasy and squeeze and squirm. Some use a small stuffed animal, such as a teddy bear.
Many women masturbate in the bathroom, light candles around the tub, turn the lights off, plug in a romantic CD, burn incense, slide into a warm bubble bath with a romantic erotic novel and fantasize while stimulating themselves. There are waterproof vibrators suitable for the bath tub.
Others will use a portable shower head, spraying their genitals. And many more will use a small quiet vibrator for clitoral, vaginal or anal stimulation.
The big secret is to accept the fact that this is an o.k. thing to do. In fact, it is therapeutic, especially if she has never reached orgasm. Most females have their first orgasm all by themselves. Once she has learned what works for her, then she can share that information with her partner who can incorporate the moves into their sex play. Guys tell us what they like, why can't we tell them what works for us?
There are many good books on female masturbation - check them out.
Common Myths About Female Orgasm
- If he is a good lover, she'll have an orgasm every time they have sex.
- You can't get pregnant if you don't have an orgasm.
- A clitoral orgasm is mature and better than a vaginal orgasm.
- A simultaneous orgasm (both "come" together) is the very best.
- If she is making noise, she is enjoying it.
- Vaginal farts are stinky and really embarrassing.
- You can't have an orgasm without intercourse. (penis in vagina sex)
- A "boomer" orgasm is better than a "ripple" orgasm.
- The really "hot" females can have 5-6 orgasms in a row.
- If a female does not have an orgasm, she gets really cranky.
- A guy has to have a really big penis to be a good lover.