[ Talk Sex Message Board ]
Shouldn't sex feel good?
Posted by A. on July 05, 2008 at 07:05:19:
I'm sure you get this question all the time, but looking through the posts I wasn't able to find one addressing this issue so I figured I'd ask.
I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and we have a wonderful relationship, I can easily see myself spending the rest of my life with him. However, when it comes to our sexual relationship, we run into some problems. Sex just rarely feels good for me, I mean rarely. In fact, sometimes it even hurts (like when he goes deeper and I guess hits my cervix?) The only positions that feel moderately good for me feel WAY too good for him and he ejaculates instantly. He comes very quickly as it is, which doesn't bother me as much as that I wish it would just feel good for the amount of time that it does last. He is very understanding and we talk about this, but we just seem to be at a loss for how to make it feel as good for me as it does for him. In addition, I have never, and after reading through the site, think I probably never will have, had an orgasm from sex, which is also depressing. I've talked to my gyno about it not feeling good, to which she says I should use more lube, which is definitely not the issue because I am always very well lubricated. I'm getting very frustrated with this, is there something wrong with me? Isn't sex supposed to feel good? Please help.
Webmaster Reply:
I must say that I get very distressed at how many emails we receive from women with these same sentiments. We men just take it for granted that sex feels good and it's been upsetting over the years to discover how many females feel almost nothing from intercourse. The first thing I would have suggested to you is to see your gyno - but you have already done so and received no useful input. Personally, I would go back and demand some answers. You do say, however, that there are some positions that feel good for you, but he pops too fast. Maybe that's where we need to focus. He could use thicker condoms, which would slow him down. He could masturbate earlier in the day, which will also make him last longer. Ultimately, he could ask his doctor about medication for Premature Ejaculation. As for your lack of orgasms, join the club. 70% of women have orgasms ONLY from clitoral stimulation. This is something you have to learn to do on your own, and the book to get is 'Sex for One' by Betty Dodson.Randy