[ Talk Sex Message Board ]
Bad Experince Carrying Over?
Posted by K. on June 26, 2008 at 06:55:03:
The first time I had a sexual relationship wasn't a very good time in my life. Most of the time I wouldn't even feel his penis moving in and out of me besides when he slid in and pulled out after. I would be all into it but then when we got into it I would be disappointed because he was just doing it for himself and I never got anything besides maybe kept warm. The only time is when he would work his 'magic fingers' on me, and even then I couldn't even get any satisfaction or orgasm out of it. We broke that off awhile go. And it's been over a year since I've had sex, and I'm dating this real great guy now.
We knew each other way before we started dating, we just couldn't gather enough guts to bring it up till this past April. He is a virgin, I've known that for awhile but he of course has ideas on what he likes. Unlike I was when I was like that I didn't really know, just sort of went into it without a second thought, that was bad on my part there I'll admit it.
And since I haven't had sex for awhile and never had a real good experince I'm worried that I won't be able to pleasure my boyfriend when we finally decide to get intimate. Of course we are both romantic and also have a wild side to ourselves so starting it would be no problem. Before I talked to one of my friends about this, like general questions. "How to get better at sex for the next time" He made a list for me to start experimenting with different people and gaining knowledge there and to ease off on my self-esteem issues. He described me of being the "Cute little sister that's curious, but wouldn't really make a move" At first I found that insulting but at the time it was pretty darn true. Of course being in the relationship I am I can't go sleeping around with guys on a regular basis like my friend suggested. I'm afraid I'll be stuck in that first time experince and disappoint my boyfriend on his first time like I was because I don't have that experince and knowledge. I can read up on things till I'm blue in the face, but it doesn't mean anything if I can actually do it right.
Any Help?
Webmaster Reply:
Although I understand your concerns, I think you are creating a problem before there is one. Since you've never had sex with your new guy, you have NO idea how it will be. It may be great, but since he's a virgin, it will likely just be satisfactory at best. However, that's no problem. You will both develop your love-making skills together and that can be wonderful. Your friend is right that practise makes perfect, but you don't have to go through a gamut of guys to do that. You can learn and experiment with the guy you like. Just keep the communications open, talk about what sensations you both enjoy or are indifferent to, and you will develop excellent skills. So, relax.Randy