[ Talk Sex Message Board ]
Question
Posted by J. on June 13, 2008 at 08:17:02:
Dear Webmaster,
I am not to sure if this question has been answered previously but i
thought id give it a try and ask anyways! i am a 19 year old female
with a significantly older boyfriend whom i just started seeing.. he is
into tantric sex and stuff of that nature, so during sexual intercourse
he asks me to tell him when i am coming ..and i would love to do that
but i cant seem to ever realize when it is happening? he doesnt get
mad at me but after he always asks me why i didnt tell him..is it normal
that i cant feel my orgasm but he can?
thank you for takin the time to answer my question!!
Webmaster Reply:
I sure can't speak for every woman out there, but...oh, what the heck.There is no way that your boyfriend is feeling an orgasm supposedly
happening in your body and mind, and you're not. It seems to me that
you're not telling him about impending orgasms because they're not
happening!
Have you experienced orgasm, either by yourself or with another? If
so, you know how intense it feels. It's not something mystical that
occurs 'somewhere, down there', something that can be overlooked,
like a button left undone on your blouse. It's a total body and mind
experience.
Please, do not feel intimidated by your partner's age or experience (or
the Tantric thing). Tell him you didn't have an orgasm - that time.
Doesn't mean you won't have one in the very near future. This is
assuming you're comfortable with him asking, you telling, etc, etc. It's
okay to not want to send out verbal cues. I'm not a huge fan of news
updates during sex, but in this I am definitely not speaking for every
woman.
And try masturbating - figure out how to bring yourself to orgasm and
then you can guide him to do the same kind of thing. Plus it's handy
for teaching yourself the power of fantasy.
One final thing - I should hope he doesn't get mad at you! You are the
boss of your sex life, just you.
I hope this helps.
Patsy.