Episode #138 - March 4, 2007
Sex/The New Rules
In this special episode, Sue was joined by two guests: Dan Savage, nationally syndicated columnist of "Savage Love" and author of "Skipping to Gomorrah" and "The Commitment"; and sex-tech expert and author of "The Sexual Revolution 2.0", Regina Lynn.
Joining them was moderator Richard Cazeau from Much More Music.
(Pictured right: Regina Lynn, Dan Savage, Sue Johanson, Richard Cazeau)The panel addressed viewer phone-calls and comments about sexual technology, and the way it is changing people's sex lives. Much of the discussion centered on the following survey:
Online Survey Feb. 4 - Mar. 4, 2007
13,500 Respondents
(Final tallies include West Coast)
Do you keep track of your partner by cellphone because you are concerned about him/her straying? Women Men Yes 11% 8% No 67% 77% Sometimes 22% 15% Has Internet porn affected your relationship? Yes - for the better 12% 16% Yes - for the worse 9% 9% Had no effect 79% 75% Do you feel more comfortable posting your feelings in a blog rather than talking to your partner about them? Yes 10% 9% No 70% 78% Sometimes 20% 13% Have you ever dated someone you met online? Yes 31% 28% No 69% 72% How do you feel about webcam sex? No way would I do that 62% 41% Never done it, but I would 26% 44% Been there, done that! 12% 15% Do you think provocative flirting in a chatroom is cheating? Yes 42% 32% No 29% 42% Maybe 29% 26% Do you ever worry that your partner might prefer playing with a sex toy rather than you? Yes 6% 12% No 86% 73% Sometimes 8% 15% Have you ever had an orgasm while online? Yes 26% 49% No 74% 51% Would you say sexual technology has hurt or helped your relationship? Hurt it 7% 7% Helped it 31% 36% Had no effect 62% 57%
Sensate focus is a therapeutic tool that teaches couples to bond or reconnect. It involves touching and cooing without any expectation of intercourse.
Here's a perfect example – it is called EARTHLY DELIGHTS. This gorgeous kit comes with all the accoutrements for a sensuous experience: flavored massage creams and oils, such as Spearmint, Almond, and Vanilla, plus a packet of delicate Honeysuckle Dust with a feather applicator. This kit is all about sensation, not penetration – it is about bonding, and you can't get much more low-tech than a feather duster.
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We need to build our relationships on the most basic personal level, and that is through the sense of touch, skin on skin. So, I want to talk about sensate focus.