Translating Men!

When you are out on a date and he says, “Let’s go somewhere quiet”, he really means:
“I can’t wait to get you alone so that we can get it on.”
“Let’s go somewhere we can talk, so that I can get to know you better.”
“I don’t want to be seen in public with you.”

When you ask him out and he says, “I’m just really too busy with work to go out with you right now”, he really means:
“I’m really stressed with work right now and can’t cope with adding dating a new person into the equation.”
“I’m not interested in dating you.”
“I’m playing hard to get and you should keep pursuing me.”

When you’re trying on outfits and he says, “You look terrific”, he really means:
“I like that outfit better than the last one because it accentuates your eyes.”
“I have never seen you looking this hot!”
“Please don’t try on another outfit. I’m starving.”

You are telling your partner about your stressful day at work. While you’re talking you notice that he keeps playing with a beer cap that’s on the table. This behaviour indicates that:
He's not interested in what you are saying.
He really wants a beer.
He just can't stop himself from fidgeting, but he is actually listening to you.

When he says, “Can I take you out to dinner?, he really means:
“I’d eventually like to have sex with you.”
“I’d like to get to know you better.”
“I’m hungry, but I don’t want to eat alone.”

When he says, “I really like you”, he really means:
“I think I’m falling in love with you, but I’m too afraid to say it.”
“I have no idea if I love you or not, but if I don’t say something soon I know that you’re going to dump me.”
“I like you almost as much as I like my car.”

When he says, “I didn’t notice what she looked like”, he really means:
“I really didn’t notice that other woman.”
“I know exactly how big that woman’s breasts were, but I would never admit to it.”
“I noticed that other woman, but I was too busy concentrating on you to remember what she looked like.”

When he says, “It’s a guy thing”, he really means:
“In the deep philosophical world of the male, there are certain mysteries that a woman will never understand.”
“There is no logical reasoning behind what I am doing or saying.”
“I can’t reveal all of my secrets to you.”

You and your partner had an argument over dinner. It’s now time to go to bed and he starts being affectionate and tries to put you in the mood. This means that:
He sees the argument as being over and has no hard feelings.
He’s trying to make you forget why you were upset with him.
He wants to make love to you, but tomorrow he’ll wake up still holding a grudge.

When he asks, “Was it good for you?”, he really means:
“I want to know exactly what you liked and what you didn’t like.”
“I want to know if you are as satisfied as I am.”
“I’m insecure about my performance in bed and I need you to compliment me.”

You are talking to a guy that you just met at a party and as he speaks to you he keeps looking away and you have difficulty hearing him. This is a sign that:
He wishes he was talking to someone else.
He is shy and is self-conscious of what he is saying.
He's had too much to drink.

When he says, “I have the flu”, he really means:
“I’m feeling really sick and I need you to leave me alone.”
"I'm sick and I'm blaming you for it."
“I have a minor cold, but I’m feeling very vulnerable right now and I need you to pamper me.”

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